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Relationships - How Quickly After a Divorce Should I Start Dating?

Posted on July 18, 2009
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Relationships - How Quickly After a Divorce Should I Start Dating?

You're ready. It's not a question of if any longer, only when. How do you know that you're ready to start a relationship after a divorce? How do you know that you're ready to date again? You're reading this article, aren't you? You've questioned whether or not it's worth it to take that step, to delve into something as risky as it is rewarding. You've debated it in your head, asked your friends about it in sly and coy ways, and when doubting, asked outright in forthright tones. And it's too late. The once distant thought about dating has been planted in your mind, and it has been growing, albeit slowly, but gradually until it's led you here. Let me be the first to welcome you, if you have not already received a welcome kit from the post-divorce-it's-ok-to-date community. Welcome.

So what are some of the signs that you're ready for a relationship? And when is it too quick to start dating? As already mentioned, by the fact that you're reading this article, it's a tell-tale sign that the thought has been growing in your mind and heart and that you're ready - even if you don't yet realize it. You've already decided that life is too short to be alone and your heart is crying out for companionship. And you've probably already found yourself looking across the room and locking eyes with an attractive co-worker, colleague or stranger while waiting in line, dozing off in a meeting or walking to the printer.

And while these rediscovered feelings of attraction may have made you slightly uncomfortable and self-conscious, you've also been bombarded by feelings of disappointment, fear of failure and uncertainty. These are all natural reactions to experience when thinking about relationships, but it's also important to understand that these feelings are in fact natural and in a way a part of your natural defense mechanism to protect yourself again more emotional pain. But the key to dating after a divorce and starting a relationship is to let down your walls and follow your heart. And once you do, you'll find that there are a lot of opportunities out there to help you find a great date.

These days in the Internet-era, there's 101 ways to meet a date - everything from the most random of ways, such as bumping into people at a bar (or the car wash for that matter), to online dating services where you can chat, e-mail and send virtual affections electronically. These can be potentially good ways to meet new people and possibly begin a relationship, and they have their share of successful testimonials from people who have found successful relationships. But one opportunity that may minimize the risk and stigma associated with online dating or random happenstance, is matchmaking.

Matchmaking can potentially be a great way to go simply because it eliminates guessing and relies on knowledge and trust. Matchmakers know people on a deeper level and can offer suggestions that highlight compatibility. A matchmaker is someone you can trust, someone who can know you, your thoughts, your past, and your plans for the future, to offer positive suggestions for new relationships. Best of all, it's someone you can trust who understands where you've been, how you've questioned whether it's too quick to start dating after a divorce, and offer possible matches based on your individual experiences and desires. After all, all relationships begin and end in trust.