Visitation Recommendations For Children Under the Age of Three
Posted on August 8, 2009
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Visitation Recommendations For Children Under the Age of Three
An infant's basic needs are food, sleep and physical contact. However, when you are divorced, you want the infant to be able to recognize you as the parent. This is only possible if there are frequent visitations as then the infant will be able to recognize your face and voice. That is why psychologists recommend that non-custodial parents visit children under the age of three frequently and this visit should last around 2 hours each time. Overnight stays at this point are not recommended as the infant will miss the custodial parent, who is its primary caregiver.
When a child is between 6 months and 18 months, he knows immediately when the parent is not around. As a non-custodial parent, if you do not make regular and frequent visits, the child might get anxious and stressed by your absence. This is the age when the non-custodial parent should form an emotional bond with the child and you should concentrate about forming an attachment with the child. It is quite possible for you have a healthy emotional relationship with the child even though you and your spouse are now divorced.
Between the age of 18 months and 3 years, the child starts becoming independent. However, he needs a sense of security; he wants to make sure that the parents will be in his life forever. If a child doubts this, you can be sure that he will be constantly asking you whether you still love him. This is the time when a child will figuring out whether he can depend on his parent and that is why you should always be around when you make a promise and try have visit him as often as possible.
Children need to feel loved and safe and the only way you can show your feeling for them is to visit them as often as possible after the divorce. That is why when children under the age of three are involved you should try to negotiate a visitation schedule with your ex-spouse.
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Relationships - How Quickly After a Divorce Should I Start Dating?
Posted on July 18, 2009
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Relationships - How Quickly After a Divorce Should I Start Dating?
You're ready. It's not a question of if any longer, only when. How do you know that you're ready to start a relationship after a divorce? How do you know that you're ready to date again? You're reading this article, aren't you? You've questioned whether or not it's worth it to take that step, to delve into something as risky as it is rewarding. You've debated it in your head, asked your friends about it in sly and coy ways, and when doubting, asked outright in forthright tones. And it's too late. The once distant thought about dating has been planted in your mind, and it has been growing, albeit slowly, but gradually until it's led you here. Let me be the first to welcome you, if you have not already received a welcome kit from the post-divorce-it's-ok-to-date community. Welcome.
So what are some of the signs that you're ready for a relationship? And when is it too quick to start dating? As already mentioned, by the fact that you're reading this article, it's a tell-tale sign that the thought has been growing in your mind and heart and that you're ready - even if you don't yet realize it. You've already decided that life is too short to be alone and your heart is crying out for companionship. And you've probably already found yourself looking across the room and locking eyes with an attractive co-worker, colleague or stranger while waiting in line, dozing off in a meeting or walking to the printer.
And while these rediscovered feelings of attraction may have made you slightly uncomfortable and self-conscious, you've also been bombarded by feelings of disappointment, fear of failure and uncertainty. These are all natural reactions to experience when thinking about relationships, but it's also important to understand that these feelings are in fact natural and in a way a part of your natural defense mechanism to protect yourself again more emotional pain. But the key to dating after a divorce and starting a relationship is to let down your walls and follow your heart. And once you do, you'll find that there are a lot of opportunities out there to help you find a great date.
These days in the Internet-era, there's 101 ways to meet a date - everything from the most random of ways, such as bumping into people at a bar (or the car wash for that matter), to online dating services where you can chat, e-mail and send virtual affections electronically. These can be potentially good ways to meet new people and possibly begin a relationship, and they have their share of successful testimonials from people who have found successful relationships. But one opportunity that may minimize the risk and stigma associated with online dating or random happenstance, is matchmaking.
Matchmaking can potentially be a great way to go simply because it eliminates guessing and relies on knowledge and trust. Matchmakers know people on a deeper level and can offer suggestions that highlight compatibility. A matchmaker is someone you can trust, someone who can know you, your thoughts, your past, and your plans for the future, to offer positive suggestions for new relationships. Best of all, it's someone you can trust who understands where you've been, how you've questioned whether it's too quick to start dating after a divorce, and offer possible matches based on your individual experiences and desires. After all, all relationships begin and end in trust.
How to Help Your Child Adjust to Your Divorce
Posted on July 14, 2009
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How to Help Your Child Adjust to Your Divorce
You know how difficult divorce is for you - you are probably going through an entire spectrum of emotions. From anger, sadness and pain to depression, confusion and insecurity, there are many emotions that individuals experience when they are in the process of getting divorced or are already divorced. However, you may not think about how strongly divorce can affect your children. They too go through an entire range of emotions, but often times they don't know how to express or deal with them in a healthy way. This article discusses how to help your child adjust to your divorce.
Giving Your Child Attention
One of the things that will really help your children adjust to your divorce is you giving them plenty of attention. In fact, children usually need a lot of attention but during a divorce, they may need a great deal more. Children can often feel as if it's their fault that their parents are getting divorced or that they've done something wrong and are being punished. While these feelings are not really true, it doesn't make them valid. You need to show your child that you absolutely still love them and that everything will be alright. Spend more time with them as often as you can so that they will feel loved and secure in the fact that they will not lose their parents any more than they already have. It's important to reassure our children of these things by giving them a lot of attention.
Communicate with Your Child
Another great way to help your child adjust to the divorce is to communicate with them. You do not want to involve your children in the gory details of the divorce or who was at fault, but communicating is a good idea. For instance, ask them how they are feeling about certain things and talk about it. Let them know how you are feeling (about certain things) and discuss those feelings. This is an important part of helping your child become more well-adjusted and happy with the current situation. Let your child know that you are there if they need to discuss anything and that they can feel free to come to you at any time.
Encourage Your Child to Have Time with Your Ex Spouse
Unless your ex spouse is an unfit parent, there is absolutely no reason why your children shouldn't spend as much time with them as they can. In fact, it's healthier for the children to get a lot of time with both parents when they can. Encourage your children to spend time with your ex spouse and encourage your ex spouse to see the kids whenever he or she can. This way, both your children and ex spouse will respect you and you will help your kids adjust to the divorce. Remember to never talk badly about your spouse in front of your kids because this will create problems and could end up causing your children to resent you as they get older. No matter what your spouse has done and how tempting it is to down him or her to the kids, restrain yourself for the good of your kids.
With these tips and suggestions, you can help your children adjust to the divorce so that they can move on. This will create happier, healthier children which in turn creates a happier you.
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Getting Away From the Best Interests of the Child - Standard in Determining Child Support
Posted on May 28, 2009
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Getting Away From the Best Interests of the Child - Standard in Determining Child Support
Obviously, child support was developed for the best interests of the child or the children of a relationship between to consenting adults. According to Los Angeles divorce attorneys, courts can consider several factors in determining child support. First, the court can consider the child's wishes. Second, the court can consider, the parents' wishes. Third, the court can consider the relationship of the child to the other siblings in the house in determining child support. Finally, the court can take into consideration the mental health and physical health of the child. Obviously, these are all subjective determinations.
Given the fact that the court has a whole host of issues and considerations within his or her discretion, there is an argument for the family law system to arrive at a more objective standard. Specifically, state legislatures need to devise a better and more fact intensive objective analysis for the determination of child support and child visitation.
California follows the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act. According to proponents of this bill, California discourages the best interests of the children standard because it is not objective. California tries to minimize litigation by discouraging wide discretion with the court with the adoption of the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act. Indeed, according to the legislators, this decreases the incentive for costly litigation. Obviously, the goal of child support is to place the child's interests in the best light. Therefore, child support, according to California law should be a top priority. Clearly, California is headed in the right direction by encouraging a more objective standard in determining child support. Having said that, however, adoption of the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act is clearly not good enough because there is still subjective criteria within the discretion of the court. The question becomes whether there will ever be a law that can objectively help families determine what is in the best interests of the child or the children.
Grandparents Claim Custody of Grandchildren
Posted on May 27, 2009
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Grandparents Claim Custody of Grandchildren
Daily we read and hear something which we know already or something which is more likely linked with our lives. Yes something such I happen to see in today's newspaper. It was a report about the "Grandparents claiming the custody of their grandchildren".
These days we have forgotten our values and traditions of how our parents bought up by giving their age to make us happy. But still we're stressed and tensed about something or the other. We complain in short. Now our parents are fighting for our kids. It's because of us. When they had already gone through so much pain and struggle to raise us from kids to adults and still going, they are even trying to claim the custody of our kids. Why is this happening? Are we not responsible for our kids like our parents? Have a thought. Think and comprehend.
More and more grandparents are coming forward to claim the custody of their grandchildren just to save them from their squabbling parents. It is because that they love their grand children and wish well and good of them and so about their children who has been neglecting their children for the sake of their own lives. Children are supposed to be raised in good environment where parents and family make bliss and enjoy the babyhood with the growing years. But that is we find very rarely these days.
There has been an increase in the number of elderly people who are legally trying to win rights to take care of their grandchildren. The courts are also awarding custody of grandchildren to grandparents if they are able to successfully prove that they are in a position to take care of the children.
Many cases are in rise where the grandparents are filing petition for the custody of their grand son and daughter because of the divorce of their son or daughter. When asked about the opinion of the children as with whom they are willing to stay the answer is grand mother and grand father as they feel more loved and cared by them.
In my view there is nothing wrong in claiming the custody of grandchildren by their grand parents. If they are well and good to heed the children, the custody should be given to them as they children are more attached to the grandparents than working single mothers or divorced spouses who cannot be held for the entire responsibility of the small children with stressed work and tensed life.
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Child Custody Strategies for WomenÂ
Recent Posts
- Visitation Recommendations For Children Under the Age of Three
- Relationships - How Quickly After a Divorce Should I Start Dating?
- How to Help Your Child Adjust to Your Divorce
- Getting Away From the Best Interests of the Child - Standard in Determining Child Support
- Grandparents Claim Custody of Grandchildren
